The Work-From-Home Mom Isn’t Failing

Sailors,
Is the work-from-home mom actually failing, or are you just picking her apart? Being a mom who works from home is great, but it's also its own unique challenge. Not only do you have to navigate your world around your family, pets, and work.... you also have to navigate around all the people offering their unsolicited opinions on how you’re “not doing enough” or “not doing it right.”

The beautiful part of working from home is that you’re always there for your kids. If they need you, you’re just a room away. That’s a gift many moms dream of. But the flip side? Sometimes your kids have to self-occupy so you can meet a deadline. The only other option is to be “mom” all day and then grind through your work all night. I did that for years, until it broke me. Burnout hit so hard I wasn’t able to be much of anything for my family, my work, or myself. It took half a year to crawl out of that exhaustion and rebuild my energy.

Why did I do it? Because moms who work from home are often stigmatized. We’re judged if our kids are on screens while we work. We’re judged if the house isn’t spotless. We’re judged if our career is thriving (“you must not be paying enough attention to your kids”) or if it isn’t (“see, she should’ve just stayed in a traditional job”). 

We’re judged if the kids skip a few days outside because we aren't comfortable sending them out alone, or because we simply don’t have the capacity to take them to every park, fair, or community event. We’re judged if we order takeout, as if feeding your family doesn’t count unless you’ve slaved over a stove. 

Somehow, people always have something to say about what we aren’t doing enough of. The double-bind leaves us in a no-win situation, where outsiders pick apart every choice we make.

Working-from-home moms are juggling two full-time roles under one roof, and because it all happens in the same space, society rarely takes it seriously. Our work is treated as “less than,” as if it doesn’t count unless we’re clocking in somewhere else. And instead of being recognized for carrying both loads, we’re often viewed as lesser parents too, like being physically present all day isn’t enough if every box of “perfect parenting” isn’t checked. And if you’re like me and homeschool your kids as well, congratulations, you’ve just added a third full-time job under that same roof that opens an entire new chapter of judgement. 

It’s messy, loud, chaotic, and overwhelming, but it’s also full of love, creativity, and resilience. The truth is: we’re not failing. We’re doing more than most people realize, carrying both our families and our careers, and rewriting what motherhood really looks like.

So maybe the next time you’re ready to judge a mom, add in your opinion or offer advice no one asked for.... stop and think. You’re not the one living her life, carrying her load, or walking in her shoes. And until you are, the best thing you can do is show a little grace instead of adding to the weight she’s already carrying. And if you really feel that strongly about how she’s doing it, put your effort where your judgment is and be the village she needs. Because throwing shade and tearing her down doesn’t help her thrive, it only gives other people a false boost while she’s too busy holding everything together.

Signed,
-Just a messy mom in her kitchen