The Quiet Erosion of Self

Sailors,
Have you ever felt like you were disappearing inside your care for everyone else? Like .... in ways you hardly noticed while you were always showing up, always available, always trying to be the steady one, but somewhere along the way, you faded away.

This dimming away doesn’t begin with a big betrayal or dramatic fallout. It starts in the small, quiet moments. Saying “yes” when your whole body’s screaming “no.” Answering the call when your soul just wanted silence. Checking in on everyone else while secretly knowing you’re overwhelmed. Over time, those tiny moments wear you down. They quietly melt your edges until your needs feel like an afterthought.... even to you.

You get so used to listening for everyone else’s pain that you forget how to hear your own. You dull your intuition. You override your exhaustion. You start thinking your value lies in how helpful, selfless, or strong you can be. But the truth is.... this kind of giving, when it’s not mutual or mindful, doesn’t just drain you. It erodes you.

You forget what brings you joy. You forget what it feels like to receive. To be nurtured. To be held. And sometimes, you don’t even realize how much it’s cost you until your body gives out, your spirit snaps, or the resentment bubbles up in ways that don’t even feel like you.

But hear this... putting yourself first isn’t selfish. It’s not abandonment. It’s remembrance. You are not here to disappear into your care for others. You’re allowed to be a whole, living, breathing human - one with needs, boundaries, and limits. You are allowed to rest. To say no. You’re allowed to prioritize yourself and not just be a lifeline for everyone else.

Because love, real love... isn’t about pouring from an empty cup. It’s about staying rooted enough in you that when you give, it comes from overflow. Not depletion.

Signed,
-Just a messy mom in her kitchen making notes.