Gaslit: When Mental Illness is Weaponized

Sailors,
Have you ever opened up to someone about your mental health struggles, only to have them later use it against you as a way to deflect from their own behavior? Me too, so let’s dive in.

Drawing from my personal experience, inviting others into my private world and sharing the deep, intricate details of my life, and mental health struggles, demands a substantial amount of trust to be established before making that vulnerable connection. Perhaps others can understand the immense sense of betrayal that arises when someone you trusted weaponizes your mental illness against you—something I have unfortunately experienced repeatedly as a mental health patient. This is why I am very cautious about who I allow to get close to me and what I share. Quality over quantity plays a significant role in every area of my life.


What do I mean by weaponizing mental illness? Have you ever had someone dismiss your concerns about their behavior with phrases like "you're only doing this for attention," "you’re being paranoid," "you're overreacting because of your [insert diagnosis],” or simply "this is your mental illness talking"? I know I've heard all of these, some more than once, from the same person even.

This behavior is incredibly damaging to anyone, especially someone dealing with mental health issues. Attributing evident concerns to mental illness is invalidating and can cause a person to question their own reality, undermining their self-confidence. Those who gaslight bet on that. It deflects their criticism and perpetuates your negative stereotypes.

When individuals weaponize mental illness and attribute issues that arise to someone else's mental health, they shift focus away from their own behavior and avoid taking responsibility for their actions. This is a defense mechanism they use to deflect blame. It's easier for them to blame you than to take personal accountability, so they find ways to make you feel inferior, leaving you questioning your own judgment rather than addressing the actual issue. They have determined your mental illness a vulnerability, and they prey on it. This is a skilled manipulation tactic by those who seek to exert power and control over you.

What about when this is said by a total stranger? I have been there too, and I find those to be a tactic of ignorance.  Sometimes innocent, sometimes malicious. Some people genuinely do not understand mental health issues, which is why awareness is important. And others choose to weaponize it for reasons I think I will always struggle to understand.  

I will end on this note—those who deemed your mental illness a weakness has mistaken. Your mental health awareness is a strength. It empowers you to understand not only yourself but also others. Through learning coping strategies, you've developed the ability to recognize warning signs and advocate for yourself. Trust the red flags you see in others and protect yourself.

Signed with gratitude,
-Just a messy mom in her kitchen
Lighting the way with purpose, resilience, and hope
Founder & Creator of Crum Canoe Candle Co.
Nikki Crum